Be nice - My first LJ post!! Hope this - And the LJ Cut will work!

Abby, Kate, McGee and Tony all go out clubbing - Kate and Abby enjoy the night more than expected!...

A Port In The Storm

You close your eyes

You only see gloomy water, clouds and darkness

You feel like your breaking

You feel alone

Desperate, isolated, cold

Like a sinking boat you wish for help

You wish for the sunrise, lighting your soul

You wish to port, you wish to come home

I’ll be your port in the storm, I’ll be your shelter

Open your eyes and see the sunlight

Sunlight that warms you, sunlight that heals you

If you can see the light

The darkness will fade, the clouds will away

The storm will settle and the night will turn

Your sinking boat will not succumb to the waves,

If you let me be your port in the storm

At sunset we will sit by the bay,

And watch the people go by.

You’ll be able to see other boats,

Other boats needing a port.

I could be your port in the storm, I could  be your shelter

If you’d open your eyes and see the sunlight

Sunlight that would warm you, sunlight that would heal you

But I know my light will not save you…

Dichotomy

I do not feel whole.

A darkness inside of me years to be free,

A freedom of thought and expression needs to be shown.

What truths can hurt once they are spoken?

What lies can sooth all that I am now?

Locked in this melancholy happy pain,

Not being able to be who I am.

Not being able to stay up till sunrise,

Not being able to give way to be free.

These feelings eat away inside of me,

Allowing me to be happy - then making me succumb

To the shadows that often surround my pain,

I do not understand the dichotomy of my mind

Feeling alive then to be made trapped by the confusion

Of why I feel so despondent as to who I should be.

I am with the ones I love yet feel so alone.

I do not understand the fear, the pain that is driving me mad

I wish to be alone, dark, and cold.

I am allowed feel such happiness yet feel such pain in my heart.

The pain I feel bears nothing of that to which others feel.

I want to run away from this feeling of mist, this feeling of uncertainty,

That makes me question all that I do.

I shall not give in.

I shall not allow the mists of rejection and aching to swallow me up.

The sun will rise and the morning will come.

I am sure of it!

But, when?

What Ripples Come…

Darkness falls across the lake of my mind

Rippling from edge to edge

Walking to the waters bank

I sit and contemplate the darkness approaching

Swirling mists roll in from the other side

evanescening trees in the far distance

Until all that is left is my solitude

I am alone.

Wishing for comfort, wishing for tenderness

A thought trickles down my face, as if rain from a cloud

Night-time is approaching fast.

I walk away from the rippling pool, feeling a sense of emptiness.

Tree branches dance in the cool wind as I wander through the forest of decisions

Each offering me false hope of decisions past.

I walk and I wander, searching for a sign of life amongst this bleak winter setting.

I find nothing in my solidarity to warm my very soul.

Past ghosts of old happiness hang in the air,

motionless against the cold air.

I walk until I can walk no more.

Staring at pathways .. which once to choose?

The long, windy road twists off into the distance,

I feel alone with no one to help me.

I look to the sky only to see darkness covering the healing moon.

Alone, cold and bleak, amongst the harsh nature of winter...

I Am Here, Just Watching

As I sit here, surveying the night sky from my window,

Watching the midnight lovers, as they pace the beach,

Dreaming and scheming of far distance promises,

Promises of ever-lasting nights and joyful days.

I turn cold as I imagine their blissful laughs,

Their romanticised handholding and their blushing cheeks.

They know nothing of life, nothing that makes the soul scream and die.

Promises soon forgotten, warming sunlight soon turns to night.

A night that is un-scarred by the clear stars that would watch over them.

I see their pacing and all I see is us.

The way you held me tight and promised to never let go.

The way you danced with me for eternity,

Passion-filled nights of fire and stars –

All fade into a musty haze in the back of my mind.

I turn and face away, not wanting the scars to tear

I turn, close my eyes and see you staring back at me.

Suddenly, the morning sun rises in the East,

Telling of plans, dreams and everlasting schemes

…none of which were meant to be

I leave the room, I leave the scene of hopeful wishes.

As I turn to close the door, I am sure I hear

I hear a voice calling my name.

As I run back to the window,

I see you!

I see you how I remembered you before the angels took you.

You still have the same smile, the same eyes, the same hands.

I put my hand to the glass, every essence of my being wanting to touch you,

Comfort you, hold you.

You gently call my name.

I close my eyes to devour that sweet sound.

You are gone.